dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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