on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
