my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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