I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize