ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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