I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
