Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
