she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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