Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
