I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
