Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
