Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I didn't shave. On purpose
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
