I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
