My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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