Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize