Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
