problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
