Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
