on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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