She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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