She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
