nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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