He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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