Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize