once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
