I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
