I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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