"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
