But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
