Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
