ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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