Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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