it hurts more in the daytime
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
