I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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