Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
