I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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