he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
