And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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