Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
