No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
