My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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