Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Randomize
