what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
