Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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