Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize