Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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