Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
