I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
