Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
