We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
