I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
