Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair

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(773): View more from Illinois

I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

you dont

(732): View more from New Jersey

i dont

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(631): View more from New York

Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.

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(648): View more from

Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye

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(303): View more from Colorado

Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.

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