just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize