he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize