Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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