HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
