I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
