the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
