it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
