I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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