I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
