apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
