I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
