I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i will never coherently bang her
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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