If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize