He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm eating all of the evidence.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
