he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize